August 30, 2011

My Lack of OCD

So I will admit it, our house is not always clean. Most of the time there are toys scattered across the house with a random dog toy here and there. The sink almost always has dishes in it, not because we dont clean them, but because the second I start the dishwasher a cup appears from nowhere and thus starts the "pile" again in the sink. There is often a layer a dust in one room or another. The floors are generally clean for like 30 minutes and then Allen comes tromping through or Noah spills something and gets them dirty again. Our bathroom...ugghh.. I don't even want to go there. Our baseboards probably haven't been cleaned since before Noah was born. (Embarrassing, but we are all friends here right?) The windows...Seriously Lord only knows.
I do clean, I really do. Going by the previous paragraph you are probably thinking you need to call DCS on us but I promise our house is no rat hole, it is just not spotless. And honestly, I have become OK with that.
I clean what I can, when I can and that is all I can do. I feel like I am surrounded by friends who have cleaning OCD and can't stand for there to be one fork in the sink or one speck of dirt on their floor. All I can say is don't judge me because I am not like that.I wasn't raised in a home like that and I didn't grow into that kind of adult. I am sorry.
I have learned the word "clean" has many different definitions depending on who you are talking to, my definition changes depending on who is or isn't coming over to our house that day :)
A few days ago, a friend told me to be thankful that I didn't "have" to clean the garage windows or dust the bedroom every single day. But it did make me think how funny it is that sometimes while I wish I had a little MORE "need" to clean, apparently there are others that wish they had much less.
Just another example of how we are all made different for a reason, and how neither side is right or wrong, but for those of you that are the clean freaks, just don't hate me because there are toys in the floor, dust on my baseboards, and dishes in my sink. :)

August 19, 2011


Growing up, I thought I was the only one in the world. I was surrounded by wonderful people and no one else was like me. Now that I am older, I have found that there are a lot more people than I thought that had a similar situation that I had and it makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin. Well, a little more comfortable anyways.
I will admit, I am jealous of those around me that have these awesome relationships with their moms. The ones that call their moms with any kind of exciting news or even just because they found an awesome deal on a shirt at TJ Maxx. The ones that get to go shopping with their moms. The ones that are in their 20's and 30's and their moms still take them shopping like they used to when they were in their teens. The ones that want to just go hang out with their mom when they dont have anything else to do. The ones who have a baby and their mom comes and stays with them and helps them at every step of the way. The ones who call their moms for advice on life, outfits, cooking, and babies.
I don't have that. I am not saying this for sympathy, It is just time I talk about it.
I will say, because I know there are so many out there that don't. I do have a relationship with my mom, I talk to her every once in a while. And we are by no means, on bad terms. She can see Noah when she wants, it isn't anything like that (although there was definitely a time in my life where I thought it would be). But we have just never had that "mother/daughter" relationship that so many have, and I just hate that I missed out on such an important part of life.

It has affected me in so many aspects of my life. And I really didn't realize it until after Allen and I got married. I found out rather quickly that his mom loves to give and help. This was such a change in my life, I didn't know how to handle it. I welcomed it, it was great, but it was hard for me to adjust to have someone willing to help us. Allen was used to it and didn't really understand why I was so hesitant, but when you aren't used to someone so willing to be there for you and help if needed, your brain just doesn't know how to process it. I had to be so independent for so long and now there is someone in my life that is willing to be there when and if I need her, for anything. I just couldn't quite wrap my brain around it. (I had people in my life that took care of me, that is not what I am saying at all, just not my mom, like a "mom" is supposed to be.)
I still struggle a little today with Noah, asking for help when needed. I feel like I am supposed to be able to do it by myself and I just don't understand why I can't sometimes. And I always feel terrible asking someone to watch him for me. Even if it is just for an hour or two, I just feel guilty asking. Allen on the other hand, growing up with a great mom just picks up with phone, calls his mom and asks, no emotions attached.I just wonder if there will be a day when I get to that point...

I know for a fact though, that God places people in your life for a reason. Growing up, I always had "staple" friends. I was never really a social butterfly. I had my BFF's and we stuck together for years. And with my BFF's came their mom's. Who every single one of them, took me in as their own. (I guess they kind of had to considering I was at their house just about every weekend :) but still) I got to see what having a "normal" mom would be like, and I thank them for that SSOOO much! Mrs. Jane, Mrs. Tammy, and Mrs. Mysti, You all were there for me in ways you probably dont even know and I really thank you.

But because of what I went through I want to be a better mom than what I had and I am striving every day to do it. I know I am who I am BECAUSE of what I have been through NOT despite it. And I have always, always said "everything happens for a reason". This is not the easiest thing to remember but I always have to remind myself of it.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

August 15, 2011

Battle of the Bottle

Ahh, long time, no blog. I wanted my next post to be about Noah's party but I was so stressed out that day that I didn't even take ONE picture of anything :( There were pictures taken, but I personally don't have any, so that post will be for another day, but it is coming...Man, I am a terrible mom... But His party went GREAT!! and he did awesome! I can't wait to share! :)
Noah is officially not a baby anymore, he is a year old and he is a toddler now. He loves to walk all over the place!
The day after his party I decided it was time to start the process of bottle weaning, we had already made the transition from formula to milk, so it was just going to be a matter of getting rid of these bottles.
After church last Sunday, we tried to give him his milk out of a sippy cup.... MELT-DOWN!! We tried a different sippy cup that is very similar to a bottle, a little better but still NOT happy. For the rest of the week, the meltdowns continued. We have managed to go from 5, sometimes 6 bottles a day, to about 3. We do one in the morning, one before bed and we are generally forced to give him one around 4 because he has a meltdown of all meltdowns and nothing else will soothe him.

This by far is the most stressful thing we have been through so far with him. He has always been such a happy little man and now he goes through stages of total angry baby. It makes me so sad because essentially I am doing this to him. I know it is for the best and obviously he can't be 3 and still drinking from a bottle. We offer him lots of other foods and he picks and chooses what he likes and dislikes that day. He used to be such an awesome eater, it really didnt matter what I gave him, he would eat it. Now, he is pushing away and spitting out almost all veggies. I am going to try to puree some more tonight to see if it is a texture thing, and maybe he will eat them that way for now but then what... Oh man, I know we have so many more challenges ahead of us on this long road of parenthood but this one is hard. The meltdowns are TOUGH!! I myself have had several "meltdowns" along with him. It is silly to think of having a meltdown over him not eating some green beans and carrots but it is just hard to see him struggling so much over not having his bottles.

We go back to the doctor for a check up in 6 months, for his 18 month check-up. So I have decided to do a LONG term goal, we will be bottle free by his 18 month appt. Hopefully before that, but at least that gives me a goal and a lot of time! 

 He is so cute, you wouldn't think he could turn into a little monster!!
At his first Birthday Dinner! 

August 4, 2011

"25 Random Facts" from 2009

I was recently looking through my facebook profile and came across a "note" that I posted January 25, 2009. It was kind of fun to read through what I had written, so I thought I would share.

I would not change much of what I wrote except of course something about Little Man would be on there :)

What would be your 25 Random Facts? :)

25 Random Facts about Me

by Alicia Jones on Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 10:26am
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1.I am amazed that God has given me such a wonderful husband everyday

2.I absolutely ADORE his ENTIRE family!!!

3.I miss the fact that I never really knew either of my grandfathers

4. I love my dog and think he might be the cutest dog in the world

5. I LOVED our wedding but would truly like to do it again! :)

6. I love to travel and cant wait to see more of God's beautiful earth

7. No matter where the destination I HATE to pack!!!!

8. I did not vote for our president, but I know that God is in Control.

9. I can't wait to me a mom!!!

10. I am going back to school after a five year "break".

11. I love shopping but am always worried about the price tag.

12. I hate Chinese food but LOVE Japanese food! :) Fried Rice, YUMMY!!!

13. I miss my best Friend

14. I think it truly is a small world after all

15. I have an addiction to Chapstick, literally it is EVERYWHERE!!

16. I am still afraid of the dark.

17. I have to have something/someone sleep with me (dog, person, if all else fails my blanket will do)

18. I can NOT kill anything that has a stinger, i feel like they will retaliate

19. I play video games w/ my husband

20. I am terrible cook :(

21. I have wonderful friends and am so thankful for that

22. My family verges on the side of dysfunctional

23. I love hanging out with w/ my in-laws

24. I think my brother is a pretty cool dude.

25. I love the way my life has panned out!

August 2, 2011

A Year Ago Today... (Part Two)

A Year Ago today was both a wonderful day and a bit of a blur.
A Year Ago today our lives changed forever in just one breath.
A Year Ago today our very large family sat in the waiting room at the hospital waiting on one tiny person.
A Year Ago today our son was born.

As the nurse said it would, all the action started around 6am. She started coming in about every 30 - 45 min and upping the pitocin drip. By 7:30, I decided I was ready for that epidural.

My Doctor came in soon after and broke my water and then the contractions REALLY kicked in! WOW! Epidural was put in shortly after and it took a little while to get it leveled out. My left side was numb pretty much immediately but I could still feel EVERYTHING on the right side.  We got it fixed and once I was pain free, my body went into complete relax mode. I felt like someone had given me a sleeping pill! I was OUT! I would wake up when someone came in the room but it wouldn't take me long to go back to sleep.

Labor went fast, I say that, but again keep in mind I was asleep through pretty much all of it :) I know around 10 or 10:30am the nurse checked me and I was at 9cm, Only 1 more to go!
I remember waking up somewhere between 1 and 1:30 when the nurse came in to check me and I said to her "I don't mean to be rude, but what are we waiting on?" No one had checked me in hours and I just knew I had to be at a 10! My nurse came back in shortly and checked me and I was indeed at a 10. She left and when she came back it was go time! It was all so fast I couldn't believe Noah was about to be here and in my arms! 3 sets of ten second count-pushes later, He was here!

At 2:08pm, on August 2, 2010 Noah was born, 8lbs 7.5ozs & 19.5in long. He was beautiful, healthy and PERFECT!

A Year Ago today we became parents.
A Year Ago today our lives changed forever in just one breath.
A Year Ago today God gave us the most beautifully, perfect gift anyone could ever give.
A Year Ago today our son was born.

August 1, 2011

A Year Ago Today... (Part One)

A Year Ago today was my due date.
A Year Ago today I was 4 cm dilated, had only felt one contraction through the entire pregnancy and little man was as happy as a clam where he was, and I really don't think had any intentions of coming out any time soon.
A Year Ago today was one of the longest days of my life.
A Year Ago today at 7pm, we went in to be induced!
A Year Ago today this is what I looked like...

We woke up and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, I wanted my last meal to be one of their fruit and yogurt parfaits, man those things are good! I couldn't eat or drink anything past 11 am. That my friends it a LONG time for a pregnant woman!
After breakfast, I honestly don't remember what we did. There isn't much to do when you know that night you are going in to the hospital a family of two and coming out three days later as a family of three.
We may have ran some errands, just to take up time, seriously I have no clue, eventually we came home and I remember re packing my bags, making sure we had everything in there for myself and the baby. Allen was on his own for packing. I despise packing and he is a big boy (however since I didn't oversee his packing, he didn't pack any undershirts or pajama pants and his sister had to bring those to him the next day...boys...)
Seriously, trying to occupy yourself until 6:30pm is really hard, We really had NOTHING to do. I kept looking at the clock and 20 minutes would have passed. I remember it finally got to 4pm, and I thought "Oh, wow. We are down to just like 2 hours" those few hours passed pretty quickly simply because we taking pictures getting bags in the car, doing last minute checks on things around the house.
And then we were on our way! So excited and yet nervous because we had no idea what was in store for my delivery. We got to the hospital, got checked in, I got changed into a gown and got hooked up to all the monitors and IV's. And then they told us to wait again. They had me on a very low dose of pitocin for the night and all the action would start around 6:00 the next morning.
That was a long night. Trying to sleep with a fetal heart rate monitor, a contraction monitor, and being hooked up to IV's is no easy task. I can't really say how much sleep I got that night, but I can tell you it wasn't much.

A Year Ago today was my due date.
A Year Ago today we walked into Baptist Hospital in Nashville for the last time as a party of 2.
A Year Ago today was one of the longest days and nights of my life.
A Year Ago today Allen and I both fell asleep to the sound of our son's heartbeat in my belly.
A Year Ago today this is what I looked like...

But only for a few more hours!!