Yesterday was the day it was announced at work... I made the decision to stay at home with Noah and would not be returning. What a interesting feeling to have... for the first time since I was 16, I do not have a job. Excited? Of course I am excited, I get the joy of staying home and raising my son, but how can anyone say that staying at home with a newborn full time isn't a scary thought? It is very rewarding, what with all of the sweet smiles, but this little person is counting on you for everything! All of their needs and wants. What if I do it wrong? What if he doesn't turn out "right"? I just love him so much and to think that Allen and I (with lots of help from our family) are responsible for raising this little guy to be a acceptable member of society scares the living day lights out of me! I know that I can do it, I know that there are a lot of people out there ready and willing to help the second that I ask, so it is not that I feel alone in our journey of parenthood, it is just the knowledge our journey has started at all. I still look at this precious little man and can't believe that he is mine. I always wondered of what my children would be like and now that he is here...well he is WAY better than I could ever dream up!
You know now that I think about it, I take it back...I am currently still employed. No, I don't get a paycheck every two weeks direct deposited into my bank account. No, there is no great insurance plan that comes along with it. No, there is no 401K plan that I can enroll in, but the pay is GREAT! I get a wonderful child, this gift, that was given to Allen and me. He was picked out especially for us to raise by God and no one can take that away from us. Even on the days that are challenging because nothing seems to comfort him or make him happy, I still wouldn't trade this job and go back to work.