January 26, 2011

The longest 45 minutes of our lives

I was thinking last night about when I was pregnant with Noah and the scariest moment we had during the whole 9 months. I know a lot of people have heard this story but maybe if I write about it it will help take it off my mind more...
We found out at 5 1/2 weeks that we were expecting, we went to the doctor for the first time at 6 1/2. This appointment while informative was kind of a let down. I wanted them to check me, listen for the heartbeat, do an ultrasound SOMETHING to make me know for SURE that I was in fact pregnant. They did none of this, obviously it was too early to do many of those things but I just wanted the nurse (or doctor) to say, Yes you are pregnant, It would have been re assuring to hear it from a medical professional versus reading it off a pregnancy test I bought at Wal-Mart, but I got nothing. I went in peed in a cup and talked to the nurse for about 20 minutes about the do's and don't's (didn't even see the doctor) and she sent me on my way.

We went back to the doctor at 10 weeks, by this time morning sickness had set in so while no one had verbally confirmed my pregnancy, by body had. And this time we saw the doctor and we got to have our first ultrasound!! This was soo exciting! To lay there on the table and see the picture of this little life growing inside you is an indescribable feeling!
 He looked like a teddy bear and I was instantly in love!
We were going to the doctor every 4 weeks so at 14 weeks we had our appointment at about 10 Monday morning. Friday came the biggest Snow storm TN had seen in a LONG time, my work even let out at 2 in the afternoon. Monday came and the roads were much better but traffic was HORRID! I left work at about 9 to meet Allen and it took us 30 to get about 15 miles on the interstate, there was no way we were going to make it in time, We re-scheduled our appointment for 1 that afternoon.
We get to the doctor and are so excited because we get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time today!! I lay on the table, the doctor puts the jelly on and puts the Doppler on my belly and....nothing. We hear nothing... She moves the wand around telling me it is hard to find it sometimes because the babies are so little...still nothing. We finally hear a faint heartbeat and I get excited but then she tells me it is mine...a good three minutes go by and still no heartbeat.
Up to this point I wasn't nervous that she wasn't finding it, like she said the baby was the size of a lemon at this point which meant the heart was TINY, but then she told us that she was sending us to have an ultrasound. She said she wasn't worried at all, but just to put us at ease. She walks out of the room to and I tear up. I am so scared! Allen and I had made a HUGE snowman that weekend, did I do something to our baby?!?!
We go downstairs to wait for our names to be called back for the ultrasound...we wait...and wait...and wait...45 minutes go by before we are called back.  It felt like an eternity. Allen and I hardly spoke to each other the entire time, I couldn't talk. I knew if I did, I would break down right there in the waiting room.
We go back and the tech performs the ultrasound, and there is our little baby kicking around like crazy. I could have cried I was so happy. Allen even asked her if she could tell what the baby was at that point and she looked and said she was pretty sure it was a boy but not 100%. She did admit to us that when she saw why we were there and she saw me that she was really nervous, she said most of the time when they can't find the heartbeat the mom's are "bigger girls".
It turns out that my placenta was in front of the baby instead of behind him, so it acts like a cushion when that happens. Our baby was perfect, I was fine, but physically I was spent!
I told Allen on the way home, I was so excited we got to see our baby again and possibly just found out what we were having, but I would have given ALL of that back just to hear his little heartbeat when we were supposed to!

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